Living Now magazine – September 2005 issue 77 Drugs, Spirituality and the New Age p.28-29
DRUGS, SPIRITUALITY AND THE NEW AGE

My first acid trip was, I thought, a beautiful spiritual experience. It satisfied the deepest desires of my soul. I understood the ultimate goal of human existence. I felt utterly complete. It was as if a filter had been removed and all my senses could finally function at optimum level. I could taste colour, see sound, hear people’s thoughts. I felt I was an integral part of a something much bigger than myself. I had cosmic significance and I wanted more. I spent the following decade chasing that state through drugs but I never again recaptured that perfect intoxicating mix of exhilaration, liberation and euphoria; the thrill of the realisation that the world was going to change and the anticipation of a life of limitless opportunity and wonder stretching ahead of me. Instead, the magical, colourful hippie world collapsed and my dreams vanished with it. The drugs that I used to try to generate that state took me to the depths of despair and the brink of death. I became a speed-addict and anarchist, I lost my passion to change the world and I was left with depression, emptiness and a sense of loss. It took me years of experiential and theoretical research into health, fitness and self-improvement to regain some excitement about life and to discover that what I had been searching for had been within me all the time.
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