According to my clinical observations some men prefer a Yang dominated woman, whereas other men prefer the ‘embracing woman’. Either way its neither right nor wrong (according to TCM), it all depends on the Yin-Yang ratio of the sexual partners and the need of the man. I suggest to go with the flow as some days you’ll benefit from the embracing energetics and other days you’ll gain from being dominant. For the Chinese its all a game of polarities…

with great interest and satisfaction have I read all of the above. I now understand much more of my sexuality.
I could always feel things, also the stuff that you (Jost) say is going on unconsciously. The energy exchange I mean. Feeling all that can be great, but has been very difficult, because it’s not like others nescessarily feel it too. And no one telling me what’s what.

I have been working with the chakra’s for a couple of years now. It’s been helping me heal from a sexually abusive relationship I was in.
The first chakra has a lot to do with safety, it’s element is earth.
The second chakra (although some traditions say first) is considered to be the sexual, sensual, playful chakra, it’s element is water.
The third chakra is connected to will and power, it’s element is fire. I think it interesting that taoist text I just read are talking about sexual intercourse as being an intercourse between fire and water.
In paying attention to the chakra’s I could better understand why sometimes I would continue to feel scared, why I sometimes don’t act and lots more.
But I never understood (mentally) why it felt good for me when my partner was really aroused and penetrated me and it hurt when my partner was holding back or waiting for me to initiate. When I feel with penetration I cannot help it that I am more receptive, because, well, that’s my only option, isn’t it?
My current partner didn’t want that anymore, because, as he said: are you now just going on my energy?

But this is what you write: “In balanced sex a woman submits to the Yang of her man and derives her fuel (to support her action) from the man. A “Yang-dominating” woman derives fuel for her action from her own resources.”

So was it good after all when I received him that way? It surely felt very good. For him too, but afterwards he started thinking. He wants me to have a ‘drive’ too, I think. But maybe then again, I am being asked to become more yang-dominating.
(In my previous -abusive- relationship I have tried and succeeded in being more active/ yang while receptive, but it didn’t feel like I was nurturing myself. It felt like I was ignoring my true feelings and pretending. It actually felt scary and I didn’t like it. It’s just that I thought it was just me and I was weird for feeling that. It seemed the whole world was having sex like that.)
I would love to hear your comments on that.

But now, on the question, do orgasms deplete women?
Here’s my thoughts combined with my experience on the subject:

I think that women can have other unwanted effects after having orgasms, but not because of the orgasm itself.
Because women hold the creative powerful energies inside (life essences of both her and her sexual partner) it fuels her, energises her. This sounds great, but if she’s feeling negative about herself, ashamed of what she just has done in bed, these feelings get a boost. And that’s not pleasant at all. It can lead to great insecurity and maybe depression or other illnesses.
A man who is depleted maybe simply doesn’t have any energy left to even consider his insecurities about his body etc.
But when a woman feels beautiful and good and not ashamed, then the energies will boost that! Then it definitely is good sex, also afterwards.
But when a woman doesn’t feel fulfilled in life and compensates by shopping a lot, well, then maybe that gets a boost, I don’t know, I have no experiences like that after sex.

When having sex and reaching an orgasm a woman can be totally ‘in it’, not thinking. But then, if the sex is over and her partner immediately falls asleep, she may think he doesn’t care for here or whatever. Why, she wonders, maybe it’s that she isn’t pretty enough? Maybe she was too wild in bed? Or maybe she doesn’t want to feel and will go shopping or do something to distract herself.
(For me it was different. In the abusive relationship I felt manipulated into having sex and as a result would be angry and frustrated, yet at the same time sad and powerless afterwards. A combination that could drive a person crazy, I must say. In my current relationship I’m really learning and healing and falling and getting up again.)

The potent sexual energies that a woman has inside of her body after sex fuel the thoughts she has.
This can lead to all kinds of ideas and made up problems that she could try to fix. These thoughts or actions can deplete her, when she becomes depressed about her situation or when she becomes obsessed with ways that keep her from feeling her feelings.

If both partners know about yin and yang energy, how to respect each others nature more and how to have healthy sex, there would be less confusing thought getting all that life force energy.
Then both will feel better, but then the man has to be able to transform this energy to fuel his whole body, maybe in learning how to do this there’s a similar thing going on as I described women have to go through? That when he ejaculates, his inner stuff -emotions, thoughts- is not his stuff anymore (at least, this is what I experienced, that I really did get his stuff in, together with his sperm and yang energy, one package)
, but when he keeps it in, he needs to transform that into life affirming energies? I don’t know, I’m not a man…

I find this so interesting, thank you for providing me with this information and I would love to hear your thoughts on my body-mind vieuw on this.

The chart is actually in all TCM books, in particular Giovanni’s Foundation Of Chinese Medicine. The chart is also in my first book “Higher & Higher”.