Living Now magazine – October 2005 issue 78 Come Again, Ejaculation, Affairs and
Yin and Yang p48-51
COME AGAIN? EJACULATION, AFFAIRS AND YIN AND YANG
by Jost Sauer
In Western medicine, sex is not considered an integral part of health, in Traditional Chinese Medicine though, sexual practices are considered to have a huge impact on health by affecting levels of ‘Jing’, a substance which determines your basic constitutional strength and vitality. Jing is supposed be carefully managed but there are lots of things that we do that can contribute to its decline, and consequently an earlier death, and excessive ejaculation in men is one of these.
In my work as a therapist, I have noted that many men use ejaculation either to control a high sex drive or to deal with stress. In terms of the latter, in the contemporary workplace we are expected to perform high-pressure jobs at a frantic pace and stress levels are rising astronomically. Once stress reaches a certain level it is no longer beneficial. It causes the energy flow in your body to stagnate so your temper quickens, your shoulder muscles tighten, your head tilts forward and your breathing becomes shallow and many people feel on the verge of ‘losing it’. Sexual activity, instigates an energy flow and under sexual stimulus, physical and mental symptoms immediately ease. This is why, if you are highly stressed and then masturbate, the symptoms almost completely disappear. At the point of ejaculation, the external world and all its problems vanish. I have had patients who ejaculated two or three times a day to manage stress.
The system does work but in the physical act of ejaculation a certain amount of Jing is lost and if you repeatedly ejaculate without allowing time to recover in between, it can become detrimental to your health. In the West this is an alien concept. We think that sex is recreational and we should do it as often as we can. But if you don’t apply intelligence to your sex life, after a while imbalances will arise. The time it takes for you to notice these depends on your constitutional type. I once had a classic ‘Yang type’ patient who had strong Kidney Yang, high levels of Jing and the associated high sex drive. He was used to
ejaculating several times a day and when he found work as a male escort, he thought it was the ultimate job. He got to have sex every day, sometimes several times a day, and he got paid for it. Eventually he moved into porn films. He did quite well as he could ejaculate repeatedly and project sperm up to two metres (the amount of sperm produced and the distance it can be projected is connected to Kidney Yang and Jing). After a few years in the business though, he started to develop symptoms. An early indicator was a sort of popping or ringing sound in the ears as he ejaculated then fatigue, dizziness, blurred vision, weak knees, frequent urination and lower backache followed. His ejaculation lost power and this
ended his career.
In TCM it is recommended that the weekly ejaculation rate be controlled and there is actually an ejaculation-rate table for men, based on age and state of health. For example if you are in your early 40s and in relatively good health, ejaculation once every three days is recommended. If you are younger the rate is higher and if you are older it is lower.
Nowhere on the chart does it recommend ejaculation three times a day! When I mention this to male patients though I always meet resistance. It was the same for me when I was introduced to the idea. I had just taken up Tai-chi and the instructor, a strong and energetic man whom I respected, said that in order to properly understand Tai-chi the men in the group would have to stop ejaculating for a while and then ejaculate maybe only once or twice a week at the most. He then added that his Tai-chi Master only ejaculated twice a year! Everyone stared at him in total disbelief. A lot of the students were real Yang types
and the frequency of their ejaculation, amount of sperm produced and distance it could be projected were all fundamental components of their personas. I myself nearly walked out thinking, ‘if that’s what Tai-chi is about, I’m out of here’.
I ignored the suggestion for a while but eventually my studies in Traditional Chinese medicine and my ongoing Chi training made me start to understand the connection between ejaculation rates, health and Jing. I became curious and began reading books which suggested that transcending the desire to ejaculate, not only conserved Jing but enabled you access deeper and more profound sexual experiences. Theoretically this sounded great and it inspired me to try it out. In practice though it was much more difficult. Sexual energies are always of a Yang nature, as they associate with action rather than passivity. As men are already primarily Yang in nature, sexual arousal for them is ‘Yang on Yang’ – a ‘double Yang’ state in which ‘advance and act’ dictates behaviour. This is why, when sexually aroused, there is such a powerful primal urge to complete that stimulus through ejaculation. Transcending that desire, which is achieved by feeling the Yang rising in the Kidneys but then focusing on ‘not doing it’, a Yin quality, is initially mental and physical torture. But, if you persist, you eventually develop ‘retreat and wait’ skills that nourish the Yin. This means you develop a more balanced sexual desire and, accordingly, will experience
orgasms which continually become deeper, longer and more powerful. This is more beneficial sex too, because ‘double Yang’ sex consumes more Jing than sex that climaxes with a deep and fulfilling orgasm and ‘double Yang’ sex prepares the ground for future sexual problems and dysfunction.
In the West there are no guidelines for managing high sex drives. I have had many male patients who had high Jing levels and the associated high sex-drive and they over-ejaculated to manage this, particularly in their 20s and 30s. Many then experienced sexual dysfunction such as impotence in their 40s and 50s. There is, of course, impotence medication but this usually generates erections by flooding the penis with blood. It
artificially creates a Yang state of ‘advance and act’ again but this is just what the body had been trying to avoid. Impotence can be viewed as strategy implemented by the body to protect more important organ functions (such as that of the Heart). The extra Yang required for the erection, is forced to draw from a weak Yin, making the underlying imbalance worse and this can have serious repercussions. Because the impotence medication creates an artificial Yang state, the man’s heart rate increases. This means that muscle contractions increase - an action requiring lubrication which is a Yin quality. However, because the man is already Yin depleted, which is why he is taking the medication in the first place, he will not have the Yin available to support the increased action of the heart. The muscles are then unable to keep up with the stimulus and heart attack can be the result.
In TCM impotence is avoided by monitoring ejaculation and focussing on building Yin, Chi and Jing. A program to maintain a healthy Yin level includes acupuncture or Bodywork to reduce pathological or excessive Yang, and nutritional supplements or Chinese herbs to help build Yin. Taking up a daily Chi-building practice such as Tai-chi, is also beneficial. It allows you to build Yang in the presence of Yin, but it also allows you to become sensitive to Chi and to the Yin and Yang interactions that occur during sexual arousal and interaction. If you build Yin, you will not being driven purely by the physical intent to
ejaculate so you will be able to enter into a more refined state of sensual interaction. You will be able to surrender more deeply and be guided by the interplay of male and female, or Yin and Yang. This enables you to respond to your partner in a more sensitive manner, thus increasing the pleasure but also creating a deeper sexual bond.
Another reason it is important to understand and control sexual energies is that there is more to sex than just having a good time. According to some Energy therapies, it is thought that there are energy sites throughout the body. These are known as Chakras and they are considered to be like turbines that suck in cosmic energies from the Universal Energy Field. They then transport these energies to the meridians which, in turn, circulate it around the body and into the organs. These Chakras constantly spin at a certain speed. In sexual union, due to arousal, the Chakras spin faster and, at the point of orgasm, they increase
dramatically in speed. As this cycling accelerates, the Chakras draw in more of the Universal Energy Field so, in an orgasm, the whole system is flushed with fresh cosmic energies and all the old energies are dispersed. During orgasm the energy fields of the participants also interact and merge, so the new energies are not only drawn from the UEF, but also from the sexual partner. The conscious mind is not aware of this but it still takes place. There is creative potential inherent in this metaphysical exchange of information. If
the sex is allied to a relationship or other defined goals, the energetic exchange can have a positive, nurturing effect which contributes to bonding and collective growth.
I have had many patients who were Yang types with a very high sex drive but this was not matched in their partners. Accordingly, they would find their sexual desire constantly triggered by other people and some followed through and had affairs. Affairs are not considered beneficial from a therapeutic perspective though, because during orgasm your Chakras spin, pathways open up and specific energies are set free to exchange metaphysically with each other. As a result, new information will be stored in your energy field. So, the next time you engage sexually with your partner, you won’t just be exchanging your own stuff, but also be passing on energies that you took on from the affair. This introduces an unknown entity into your relationship and your partner, even if they know nothing of the affair, will experience some level of emotional confusion. The ramifications of this can come between you like an invisible wall and create an environment which defeats the goals of your relationship.
It is normal to be attracted to other people whether you have a high sex drive or not. You can be in love with your partner but still constantly experience this kind of attraction. The people that attract you represent what I call freeflow stimulants. Psychologically, you associate the feelings they trigger in you with something promising such as happiness or pleasure but I think it is something much deeper. I believe that we are primarily energetic or spiritual beings who get too easily trapped in material concerns or business, political or family dramas. This takes us away from our spiritual side and the further we move away from it, the more we develop the urge to feel it. From the perspective of Energy medicine, a freeflowing Human Energy Field is the best state a human being can experience. It allows us to glimpse our potential for deep and meaningful spiritual experiences. This is why so many of our actions aim at achieving freeflow. After drugs, orgasm is the perfect way to feel this. When I am in this state of painlessness, of love, of inner peace or happiness, I am aware of my true identity, I feel complete and I feel real. However, to be beneficial, sex requires discipline and control. This includes every aspect of sex from a healthy ejaculation rate right up to being committed to the one partner. Then it can contribute to personal development and a happy, healthy, long and fulfilling life.
copyright © Jost Sauer 2005
Great article, Jost!
Hello. Your site displays incorrectly in Explorer, but content excellent! Thanks for your wise words.
What about premature ejaculation? What brings this on and how can it be repaired with out drugs?
Hi Feddy. According to Chinese medicine premature ejaculation is a result of Kidney Yang and Kidney Chi deficiency which can be effectively treated with appropriate herbs. In clinic I have treated this condition numerous times and always had positive results, in particular if the client followed the lifestyle advice administered with the treatment. Give Chinese medicine a try, it works wonders in the department of sexual affairs
I have been doing the 5 till 7 routine of fushing out body, Meditation, yoga and weight training to much success for about 2months as i’ve got of the bong and have only ejaculated from a wet dream since starting. So i don’t know if i have this issue any more (i’m guessing it takes longer than 2 months) but it deffinently is a confidence killer. If the slightest feeling of attraction comes into mind with a girl, i retreat. Can i just stay with the routine or could you tell me what herbs so i can get it where i live? Or should i just go into the local chinese herbalist and tell them i’m kidney deficient?
Hi Feddy, no ejaculation is not the answer either. In fact for a man not to ejaculate on a regular “healthy” basis is like a woman suppressing her period. The trick is to discover your personal perfect ejaculation rate
Unfortunately I can’t advice herbs without a diagnosis. I suggest you book in with an acupuncturist.
Regarding your routine I can’t give comments unless I know your history. For this I suggest a phone consult with me.
Just wanted to thank you for this information. It’s incredible how little we learn about our own bodies as men– except for those who learn sexual guilt from western religions, particularly around masturbation and self-discovery. I am starting to contemplate the notion that a huge part of my personal problems over the past few years (in particular a lack of deep motivation), is related to excessive masturbation and ejaculation. Hoping to learn to tame the urge, and also to improve my skill with ejaculation-free orgasm- i have a friend who does it hands-free.
But a question (from the Jealousy files)- what about guys like porn stars, and just general studs, who spend all day blowing their loads, and stay incredibly fit and healthy along the way?? How do they (excuse the pun) pull it off???
Again, thank you
Hi Samson, I know exactly how you feel, having been a relentless Yang Scorpion Man for all those years till I discovered the transformative powers of Chi-gung to bring about a healthy ejaculation rate in my life. The emphasize is on HEALTHY ejaculation rate as the Chinese are strong on the idea that no ejaculation isn’t good either, almost as ‘bad’ as excessive ejaculation. My teacher Sri Bhai Sahib always told us to be careful with those Westernized Tantric “No-ejaculation” techniques as they can lead to energetic imbalances. You have to find the perfect ejaculation rate for yourself because the Chinese also say that if you don’t use it you loose it. For me its twice a week at the age of fifty.
Regarding the Porn stars: I have treated quite a few of those ‘fortunate’ male who make dollars from “screwing & blowing”. Chinese medicine is well used in those circles as it can build their sexual stamina but also power and quantity of their ejaculations (a video without legendary cum-shots isn’t worthwhile watching). I observed that most of them were health wise ok during their thirties and early fourties, but fifty + was when their trouble surfaced: impotence, lack of erection, erectile dysfunction etc. You simply can’t win against nature - your Jing is a God given quantity and quality that needs to be understood to make the best in terms of physical and emotional health. I agree with you that we aren’t getting the real education in this matter. As a society we still have a long way to go.
Hi,
Thank you for interesting information. I am curious though if it is the same for us women? It’s almost as if it’s tabu for us women to masturbate.
I have an underactive thyroid, and am taking Thyroxin for it (have done for 15 years). I am 31 now. I get so extremely tired in periods, and sometimes I can stay home a few days only to masturbate. I don’t know why, but it feels like it goes hand in hand with my whole system working slow, and ofcourse having loads of orgasms a few days in a row does not help my condition. I feel even more tired, and have absolutely no motivation to do anything else.
It’s like a vicious circle, and I would love to find myself a way out of it.
Thanks again!
Marie,
From what I have read, it is beneficial for women to masturbate, because we don’t have to sacrifice our ‘jing’. THat is the beauty of being a woman.
However, I have also learned that the desire to masturbate excessively is really an indication that your emotional needs are not being met.
Try focusing on filling the emotional need rather than the physical. I’m sure that the medication is keeping you out of balance as well. You may want to read up and meditate on emotional causes of thyroid problems if you want to discontinue use of the medication.
I think having studied chinese medicine and being female, there is a misconception that women can orgasm freely and not sacrifice any Jing. The issue may lie more in the fact that when a female is aroused the Yin fluids are produced to allow for lubrication whether there is orgasm or not and on orgasm more fluid is produced, sort of a female ejaculate that helps the sperm move into the cervix and the uterus for fertilization of the ovum.
So with that if the Yin fluids are produced to excess by over stimulation, this will deplete Yin or the Jin Ye (nourishing fliuds of the body) and may indirectly tap into the Jing for reserves. The ovum or the egg itself contains the female jing so with each ovulation a little Jing is lost (a natural progression- not harmful). If you are feeding the body with quality food and nutrition each day it will support the production of yin in all forms and thus support the Jing. Again, it’s a good idea to see a practitioner to clarify any presenting symptoms for treatment.
Another thought. When a woman orgasms a large number of muscles engage in the pelvic region, lower abdominal and back etc, and contract and relax in rapid succession. This requires blood and qi (chi) like a good exercise session. If there is an underlying blood deficiency plus it happens during a period, then there may be less blood and qi to support the recovery after orgasm.
Hi everyone and thanks for your great comments. According to the philosophy of Chinese Medicine women can’t deplete from orgasm. Other forces and conditions are necessary to cause exhaustion. Lets have a look at these conditions.
Sexual energetics in men are Yang which means urgency, action and the need for release. Sexual energetics in women are Yin which accounts for a primary need for protection, conservation and ‘being cared for’. As Yang is followed by Yin, male sexuality involves (and requires) a ‘come down’. As Yang derives its fuel from Yin, excessive sexual activity leads to depletion of Yin which is Blood and Jing.
The sexual energy of women is Yin, which means women can’t can’t crash after sex as Yin already is a state of crash. On the contrary, the Yin has moved into Yang which is why she wants to go shopping. However if a woman is deficient in Yin her sexual energetics have changed into two possible conditions which effects her accordingly:
1) Yin is deficient and Yang dominates. The sexual energetics are ruled by Yang: urgent action and the need for release. In this condition the women has an “excessive” need (higher than usual) to engage sexually. Its not about cuddling and sweet talk anymore, its about release - “give it to me, hard and strong”. As the energetics are operating primarily in Yang territory, Yin is needed to fuel the action. As the Yin is derived from Blood and Jing the women will exhaust herself not due to orgasm but due to the consequences of a Yang action. In balanced sex a woman submits to the Yang of her man and derives her fuel (to support her action) from the man. A “Yang-dominating” woman derives fuel for her action from her own resources. Yang can’t wait, Yang got no patience, Yang has no time for chit-chat. Yang wants results NOW. In the energetics of “Yin-deficient-Yang dominates” the woman shares the sexual characteristics of a man.
2) Yin is deficient and Yang is deficient. In this energetic condition there is no risk of depletion during sexual activities as the women hasn’t got the need/drive to engage. Even if she would orgasm, which in this condition would be a flat and empty orgasm, she still can’t deplete herself.
In conclusion, a woman can only deplete from sexual activity if she follows her dominating Yang. The more she follows her Yang, the ‘harder’ she wants it, the more she depletes herself.
Hi Marie, generally speaking an underactive Thyroid is a Yin condition, which has two different consequences:
1) the Yang rules and you are left with an unresolvable desire to release yourself. This is the uncomfortable and ‘itchy’ condition that most men know all about
2) the Yang is equally deficient and you have no desire for sex or masturbation.
mb and KC, according to Chinese medicine, orgasm is beneficial for both men and women. The ancient Chinese said that no emotional wellbeing can be established unless a men or women experiences a happy sex life. This statement is based on the fact that we are incomplete in physical form as we are either Yin or Yang (male or female) and therefore in need for physical-emotional union. Unless we’ve developed and mastered a powerful spiritual practice the desire for orgasm and sexual activity is a sign of health and general well-being. Only the highest masters, the ascended masters and top gurus can escape the need for sexual fulfillment. No desire for sex (unless we are on this level) is a sign of depletion in Yin and Yang and is not a sign of enlightenment!
Jost, I am curious to your opinion on the topic of female ejaculation.
Hi KC, great comment. Firstly I am a man so naturally its impossible for me to comment on female sexuality, however looking at this issue from a Martial Arts and Chi-gung perspective the Yin fluids produced due to over stimulation responsible for the depletion of the Yin or the Jin Ye are due to dominating Yang lacking in Yin. Whereas in Men the connection between orgasms and Jing is direct and lineal, in women its indirectly and lateral as it depends on the quality and level of their Yang during the sexual act. Men can’t have sex without rising their Yang (which naturally draws from their Yin), but women can. So from this perspective energetically balanced women can orgasm without depleting their Jing, whereas Men simply can’t, regardless of how balanced they are.
Hi mb, please read KC’s comment from the 30th of April. Its a great insight into female ejaculation.
I have trained my PC-muscle for some time now, and this has greatly improved my erections. How can you explain in terms of yin and yang that a stronger muscle can affect my sexual drives? Great article by the way.
Well, the article is actually the greatest on this sexual health & self-realization topic. Fabulous work; love to see more articles
You should take magic mushrooms.
anonymous, I’ve taken heaps of magic mushrooms in my psychedelic hippie days. Its all in my books “Higher & Higher” and “Drug Repair That Works”…
Hello
Your site is really interesting, congratulations man, seeing that you had the will to overcome, a situation in which most people give in, reveals a fighters stature and your site a philosophers composure, having experienced a “similar” situation and exercising also martial arts i reconn the difficulty of your task, but thats why practice makes perfect, anyway i was reading this article and i was wondering, whether it is possible to find this chart, you are reffering to
“In TCM it is recommended that the weekly ejaculation rate be controlled and there is actually an ejaculation-rate table for men..” in the net???? anyway keep it up m8
Hi Dragontiger,
thank you for your comments
The chart is actually in all TCM books, in particular Giovanni’s Foundation Of Chinese Medicine. The chart is also in my first book “Higher & Higher”.
Hi Jost (and everyone else),
with great interest and satisfaction have I read all of the above. I now understand much more of my sexuality.
I could always feel things, also the stuff that you (Jost) say is going on unconsciously. The energy exchange I mean. Feeling all that can be great, but has been very difficult, because it’s not like others nescessarily feel it too. And no one telling me what’s what.
I have been working with the chakra’s for a couple of years now. It’s been helping me heal from a sexually abusive relationship I was in.
The first chakra has a lot to do with safety, it’s element is earth.
The second chakra (although some traditions say first) is considered to be the sexual, sensual, playful chakra, it’s element is water.
The third chakra is connected to will and power, it’s element is fire. I think it interesting that taoist text I just read are talking about sexual intercourse as being an intercourse between fire and water.
In paying attention to the chakra’s I could better understand why sometimes I would continue to feel scared, why I sometimes don’t act and lots more.
But I never understood (mentally) why it felt good for me when my partner was really aroused and penetrated me and it hurt when my partner was holding back or waiting for me to initiate. When I feel with penetration I cannot help it that I am more receptive, because, well, that’s my only option, isn’t it?
My current partner didn’t want that anymore, because, as he said: are you now just going on my energy?
But this is what you write: “In balanced sex a woman submits to the Yang of her man and derives her fuel (to support her action) from the man. A “Yang-dominating” woman derives fuel for her action from her own resources.”
So was it good after all when I received him that way? It surely felt very good. For him too, but afterwards he started thinking. He wants me to have a ‘drive’ too, I think. But maybe then again, I am being asked to become more yang-dominating.
(In my previous -abusive- relationship I have tried and succeeded in being more active/ yang while receptive, but it didn’t feel like I was nurturing myself. It felt like I was ignoring my true feelings and pretending. It actually felt scary and I didn’t like it. It’s just that I thought it was just me and I was weird for feeling that. It seemed the whole world was having sex like that.)
I would love to hear your comments on that.
But now, on the question, do orgasms deplete women?
Here’s my thoughts combined with my experience on the subject:
I think that women can have other unwanted effects after having orgasms, but not because of the orgasm itself.
But when a woman feels beautiful and good and not ashamed, then the energies will boost that! Then it definitely is good sex, also afterwards.
Because women hold the creative powerful energies inside (life essences of both her and her sexual partner) it fuels her, energises her. This sounds great, but if she’s feeling negative about herself, ashamed of what she just has done in bed, these feelings get a boost. And that’s not pleasant at all. It can lead to great insecurity and maybe depression or other illnesses.
A man who is depleted maybe simply doesn’t have any energy left to even consider his insecurities about his body etc.
But when a woman doesn’t feel fulfilled in life and compensates by shopping a lot, well, then maybe that gets a boost, I don’t know, I have no experiences like that after sex.
When having sex and reaching an orgasm a woman can be totally ‘in it’, not thinking. But then, if the sex is over and her partner immediately falls asleep, she may think he doesn’t care for here or whatever. Why, she wonders, maybe it’s that she isn’t pretty enough? Maybe she was too wild in bed? Or maybe she doesn’t want to feel and will go shopping or do something to distract herself.
(For me it was different. In the abusive relationship I felt manipulated into having sex and as a result would be angry and frustrated, yet at the same time sad and powerless afterwards. A combination that could drive a person crazy, I must say. In my current relationship I’m really learning and healing and falling and getting up again.)
The potent sexual energies that a woman has inside of her body after sex fuel the thoughts she has.
This can lead to all kinds of ideas and made up problems that she could try to fix. These thoughts or actions can deplete her, when she becomes depressed about her situation or when she becomes obsessed with ways that keep her from feeling her feelings.
If both partners know about yin and yang energy, how to respect each others nature more and how to have healthy sex, there would be less confusing thought getting all that life force energy.
Then both will feel better, but then the man has to be able to transform this energy to fuel his whole body, maybe in learning how to do this there’s a similar thing going on as I described women have to go through? That when he ejaculates, his inner stuff -emotions, thoughts- is not his stuff anymore (at least, this is what I experienced, that I really did get his stuff in, together with his sperm and yang energy, one package)
, but when he keeps it in, he needs to transform that into life affirming energies? I don’t know, I’m not a man…
I find this so interesting, thank you for providing me with this information and I would love to hear your thoughts on my body-mind vieuw on this.